Discrimination

I went right back to the religion fair. This time I heard a speech of the High Priest of the Balakri religion. The Prophet Balakri, we were told, was the Messiah, born in the fifth-century hold land of Mesambia.

I had another encounter with God that night. "You're a great discriminator, aren't you, God? Why does the fifth century have to be the enlightened century and why does Mesambia have to be the holy land? What's wrong with my century, for instance? And what's wrong with my land?"

To which God replied, "A feast day is holy because it shows that all the days of the year are holy. And a sanctuary is holy because it shows that all places are sanctified. So the Messiah is called the Son of God to show that everyone is divine."

Anthony de Mello

The World Fair of Religions

My friend and I went to the fair. THE WORLD FAIR OF RELIGIONS. Not a trade fair. But the competition was as fierce, the propaganda loud.

At the Jewish stall we were given handouts that said that God was all-compassionate and the Jews were his Chosen People. The Jews. No other people were as chosen as they.

At the Moslem stall we learned that God was all-merciful and Mohammed is his only Prophet. Salvation comes from listening to God's Prophet.

At the Christian stall we discovered that God is love and there is no salvation outside the Church. Join the Church or risk eternal damnation.

On the way out I asked my friend, "Who do you think of God?" He replied, "He is bigoted, fanatical, and cruel."

Back home, I said to God, "How do you put up with this sort of thing, Lord? Don't you see they have been giving you a bad name for centuries?"

God said, "It wasn't I who organized the fair. In fact, I'd be too ashamed to visit it."

Anthony de Mello

Pray for a Contented Mind

The Lord Vishnu said to his devotee: "I am weary of your constant petitions. I have decided to grant you any three things you ask for. After that, I shall give you nothing more."

The devotee delightedly made his first petition at once. He asked that his wife should die so that he could marry a better woman. His petition was immediately granted.

But when friends and relatives gathered for the funeral and began to recall all the good qualities of his wife, the devotee realized he had been hasty. He now realized he had been blind to all her virtues. Was he likely to find another woman as good as her?

So he asked the Lord to bring her back to life! That left him with just one petition. He was determined not to make a mistake this time, for he would have no chance to correct it. He consulted widely. Some of his friends advised him to ask for immortality. But of what good was immortality, said others, if he did not have good health? And of what use was health if he had no money? And of what use was money if he had no friends?

Years passed and he could not make up his mind what to ask for: life or health or wealth or power of love. Finally he said to the Lord, "Please advise me on what to ask for."

The Lord laughed when he saw the man's predicament, and said, "Ask to be content no matter what you get."

Anthony de Mello

The Diamond

The sannyasi had reached the outskirts of the village and settled down under a tree for the night when a villager came running up to him and said, "The stone! The stone! Give me the precious stone!"

"What stone?" asked the sannyasi.

"Last night the Lord Shiva appeared to me in a dream," said the villager, "And told me that if I went to the outskirts of the village at dusk I should find a sannyasi who would give me a precious stone that would make my rich forever."

The sannyasi rummaged in his bag and pulled out a stone. "He probably meant this one," he said, as he handed the stone over to the villager. "I found it on a forest path some days ago. You can certainly have it."

The man gazed at the stone in wonder. It was a diamond, probably the largest diamond in the whole world, for it was as large as a person's head.

He took the diamond and walked away. All night he tossed about in bed, unable to sleep. Next day at the crack of dawn he woke the sannyasi and said, "Give me the wealth that makes it possible for you to give this diamond away so easily."

Anthony de Mello

Who Can Steal the Moon!

The Zen master Ryokan lived a very simple life in a little hut at the foot of the mountain. One night, when the master was away, a thief broke into the hut only to discover that there was nothing to steal.

Ryokan returned and caught the burglar. "You have put yourself to much trouble to visit me," he said. "You must not go away empty-handed. Please take my clothes and blanket as a gift." The thief, quite bewildered, took the clothes and slunk off.


Ryokan sat down naked and watched the moon. "Poor fellow," he thought to himself, "I wish I could give him the gorgeous moonlight."

Anthony de Mello

The Sky and the Crow

A tale from the Bhagavata Purana:

A crow once flew into the sky with a piece of meat in its beak. Twenty crows set out in pursuit of it and attacked it viciously.

The crow finally let the piece of meat drop. Its pursuers then left it alone and flew shrieking after the morsel.

Said the crow, "I've lost the meat and gained this peaceful sky."

Said a Zen monk,
"When my house burned down I got an unobstructed view of the moon at night!"

Anthony de Mello

Hafez Hayyim

In the last century, a tourist from the States visited the famous Polish rabbi Hafez Hayyim.

He was astonished to see that the rabbi's home was only a simple room filled with books. The only furniture was a table and a bench.

"Rabbi, where is your furniture?" asked the tourist.

"Where is yours?" replied Hafez.

"Mine? But I'm only a visitor here."

"So am I," said the rabbi.

A Parable on Modern Life

The animals met in assembly and began to complain that humans were always taking things away from them.

"They take my milk," said the cow.
"They take my eggs," said the hen.
"They take my flesh for bacon," said the hog.
"They hunt me for my oil," said the whale.

Finally the snail spoke. "I have something they would certainly take away from me if they could. Something they want more than anything else. I have TIME."

You have all the time in the world, if you would give it to yourself. What's stopping you?

The Seven Jars of Gold

A barber was passing under a haunted tree when he heard a voice say, "Would you like to have the seven jars of gold?" He looked around and saw no one. But his greed was aroused, so he shouted eagerly, "Yes, I certainly would." "Then go home at once," said the voice. "You will find them there."

The barber ran all the way home. Sure enough, there were the seven jars - all full of gold, except for one that was only half full. Now the barber could not bear the thought of having a half-filled jar. He felt a violent urge to fill it or he simply would not be happy.

So he had all the jewelry of his family melted into coins and poured them into the half-filled jar. But the jar remained as half-filled as before. This was exasperating! He saved and skimped and starved himself and his family. To no avail. No matter how much gold he put into the jar it remained half-filled.

So one day be begged the king to increase his salary. His salary was doubled. Again the fight to fill the jar was on. He even took to begging. The jar devoured every gold coin thrown into it but remained stubbornly half-filled.

The king now noticed how starved the barber looked. "What is wrong with you?" he asked. "You were so happy and contented when your salary was smaller. Now it has been doubled and you are so worn out and dejected. Can it be that you have the seven jars of gold with you?"

The barber was astonished, "Who told you this, Your Majesty?" he asked.

The king laughed. "But these are obviously the symptoms of the person to who the ghost has given the seven jars. He once offered them to me. When I asked if this money could be spent or was merely to be hoarded he vanished without a word. That money cannot be spent. It only brings with it the compulsion to hoard. Go and give it back to the ghost this minute and you will be happy again.

Riches

Husband: "I'm going to work hard, and someday we are going to be rich."

Wife: "We are already rich, dear, for we have each other. Someday maybe we'll have money."

Streaky People

A preacher put this question to a class of children: "If all the good people were white and all the bad people were black, what color would you be?"
Little Mary Jane replied, "Reverend, I'd be streaky!"

So would the preacher. So would the mahatmas, popes, and saints.

A man was looking for a good church to attend and he happened to enter one in which the congregation and the preacher were reading from their prayer book. They were saying, "We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things which we ought not to have done."

The man dropped into a seat and sighed with relief and he said to himself, "Thank goodness, I've found my crowd at last."

Attempts to hide your streakiness will sometimes be successful, always dishonest.

The Turtle

The Emperor of China sent ambassadors to a hermit living in the northern mountains. They were to invite him to become prime minister of the kingdom.

After many days of travel the ambassadors arrived. The hermitage was empty! But nearby in the middle of a river was a half-naked man, seated on a rock, fishing with a line. Could this be the man the emperor thought so highly of? Inquiries at the village proved it was. So they returned to the riverbank and, as respectfully as they could, attempted to attract the fisherman's attention.

The hermit waded through the river and stood before the messengers, barefoot, arms akimbo.
"What is it you want?"
"Honored sir. His Majesty the Emperor of China, having heard of your wisdom and your holiness, has sent us with these gifts. He invites you to accept the post of prime minister of the realm.
"Prime minister of the realm?"
"Yes, respected sir."
"Me?"
"Yes, respected sir."
"Is His Majesty out of his mind?" said the hermit as he roared with uncontrollable laughter, to the discomfiture of the ambassadors.

When he was able to control himself, the hermit said, "Tell me-- is it true that mounted over the main altar of the emperor's chapel is a stuffed turtle whose shell is encrusted with sparkling diamonds?"

"It is, venerable sir."

"And is it true that once a day the emperor and his household gather to do homage to his diamond-decorated turtle?"

"It is, sir."

"Now take this turtle here, wagging his tail in the mud. Do you think this little fellow would change places with the turtle in the palace?"

"No, he would not."

"Then go tell the emperor that neither would I. For no one can be alive on a pedestal."

Love's Forgetfulness

"Why do you keep talking about my past mistakes?" said the husband.
"I thought you had forgiven and forgotten."

"I have, indeed, forgiven and forgotten," said the wife. "But I want to make sure you don't forget that I have forgiven and forgotten."

Sinner: "Remember not my sins, OLord!"
Lord: "What sins? You'll have to prod my memory. I forgot them long ago."

Love keeps no record of wrongs [1 Cor. 13].

The Old Woman's Religion

A very religious-minded old woman was dissatisfied with all existing religions, so she founded one of her own.

One day a reporter, who genuinely wanted to understand her point of view, said to her, "Do you really believe, as people say you do, that no one will go to heaven except you and your housemaid?"

The old woman pondered the question and then replied, "Well, I'm not so sure of Mary."

Joneyed and the Barber

The holy man Joneyed went to Mecca in beggar's clothing. There he saw a barber shaving a nobleman. When he asked the barber to shave him, the barber immediately left the wealthy man and shaved Joneyed. And he took no money form him. He actually gave Joneyed some as alms.

Joneyed was so touched that he decided he would give to the barber whatever he got in alms that day. It so happened that a wealthy pilgrim came up to Joneyed and gave him a bag of gold coins. Joneyed went up to the barber's shop that evening and offered the gold to the barber.

The barber yelled at him, "What kind of a holy man are you that you come to reward me for an act of love?"

A fantasy.
The devotee yells at the Lord, "What kind of a God are you that you dare to reward my devotions!"
The Lord replies with a smile, "I am Love, So how can I offer rewards?"
When you seek a recompense, your gift becomes a bribe.

Good News

Here is the Good News proclaimed by our Lord Jesus Christ:
Jesus began to teach in parables.
He said:
The kingdom of God is like two brothers who were called by God to give up all they had and serve humanity.

The older responded to the call generously, though he had to wrench his heart form his family and the girl he loved and dreamed of marrying. He eventually went off to a distant land where he spent himself in the service of the poorest of the poor. A persecution arose in that country and he was arrested, falsely accused, tortured, and put to death.

And the Lord said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You gave me a thousand talents' worth of service. I shall now give you a billion, billion talents' worth of reward. Enter into the joy of your Lord."

The younger boy's response to the call was less than generous. He decided to ignore it and go ahead and marry the girl he loved. He enjoyed a happy married life, his business prospered, and he became famous and rich. Occasionally he would give alms to the poor.

And when it was his turn to die, the Lord said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have given me ten talent's worth of service. I shall now give you a billion, billion talents' worth of reward. Enter into the joy of your Lord!

The older boy was surprised when he heard that his brother was to get the same reward as hi. And he was pleased. He said, "Lord, knowing this as I do, if I were to be born and live my life again, I would still do exactly what I did for you."

The Golden Egg

A reading from the scriptures:
This is what the Lord says: There was once a goose that laid a golden egg each day. And the farmer's wife, who owned the goose, delighted in the riches that those eggs brought her. She was an avaricious woman, however, and could not wait patiently from day to day for her daily egg. She decided to kill the goose and get the eggs all at once.

Thus far the word of God!

An atheist heard that text from the scriptures and scoffed: You call that the word of God! A Goose that lays golden eggs! It just goes to show the absurdity of your scriptures.
When a religious scholar read that text, he reacted thus: The Lord clearly tells us that there was a goose that laid golden eggs. If the Lord says this, then it must be true, no matter how absurd it appears to our poor human minds.

Now you will ask, as well you may, how an egg, while not ceasing to be an egg, can, at the same time, be golden. Different schools of religious thought attempt to explain it differently. But what is called for here is an act of faith in this mystery that baffles human understanding.

There was even a preacher who, inspired by that text, traveled through towns and villages zealously urging people to accept the fact that God had created golden eggs at some point in history.

It is better to teach people the evils of avarice than to promote belief in golden eggs.

To Know Christ

A dialogue between a recent convert and an unbelieving friend:
"So you have been converted to Christ?"
"Yes."
"Then you must know a great deal about
him. Tell me: What country was he born in?"
"I don't know."
"What was his age when he died?"
"I don't know."
"How many sermons did he preach?"
"I don't know."
"You certainly know very little for a man who claims to be converted to Christ!"
"You are right. I am ashamed at how little I know about him. But this much I do know: Three years ago I was a drunkard. I was in debt. My family was falling to pieces. My wife and children would dread my return home each evening. But now I have given up drink; we are out of debt; ours is now a happy home. All this Christ has done for me. This much I know of him!"

To really know. That is, to be transformed by what one knows.

The Spiritual Heart Attack

Uncle Tom had a weak heart and the doctor had warned him to be very careful. So when the family learned that he had inherited a billion dollars from a deceased relative they feared to break the news to him lest the news give him a heart attack.

So they sought the services of the local pastor, who assured them he would find a way. "Tell me, Tom," said Father Murphy, "if God, in his mercy, were to send you a billion dollars, what would you do with it?"

"I'd give half of it to you for the Church, Father."
When he heard that, Father Murphy had a heart attack.

When the industrialist had a heart attack from pushing his industrial empire it was easy to show him his greed and selfishness. When the priest had a heart attack from pushing the Kingdom of God it was impossible to show him that this was greed and selfishness in another, more respectable disguise. Is it God's Kingdom you are pushing or yourself? The Kingdom needs no pushing. Your anxiety betrays you, does it not?

The Monk and the Woman

Two Buddhist monks, on their way to the monastery, found an exceedingly beautiful woman at the riverbank. Like them, she wished to cross the river, but the water was too high. So one of the monks lifted her onto his back and carried her across.

His fellow monk was thoroughly scandalized. For two hours he berated him on his negligence in keeping the rule: Had he forgotten he was a monk? How did he dare touch a woman? And worse, carry her across the river? What would people say? Had he not brought their hold religion into disrepute? And so on.

The offending monk patiently listened to the never-ending sermon. Finally he broke in with "Brother, I dropped that woman at the river. Are you still carrying her?"

The Arab mystic Abu Hassan Bushanja says, "The act of sinning is much less harmful than the desire and thought of it. It is one thing for the body to indulge in a pleasurable act for a moment, and an entirely different thing for the mind and heart to chew on it endlessly."
Each time I chew on the sins of others, I suspect the chewing gives me more pleasure than the sinning gives the sinner.

The Zen Master and the Christian

A Christian once visited a Zen master and said, "Allow me to read you some sentences from the Sermon on the Mount."

"I shall listen to them with pleasure," said the master.

The Christian read a few sentences and looked up. The master smiled and said, "Whoever said those words was truly enlightened."

This pleased the Christian. He read on. The master interrupted and said, "Those words come from a savior of mankind."

The Christian was thrilled. He continued to read to the end. The master then said, "That sermon was pronounced by someone who was radiant with divinity."

The Christian's joy knew no bounds. He left, determined to return and persuade the master to become a Christian.

On the way back home he found Jesus standing by the roadside. "Lord," he said enthusiastically, "I got that man to confess that you are divine!"
Jesus smiled and said, "And what good did it do you except to inflate your Christian ego?"

The Talkative Lover

A lover pressed his suit unsuccessfully for many months, suffering the atrocious pains of rejection. Finally his sweetheart yielded. "Come to such and such a place, at such and such an hour," she said to him.

At that time and place the lover finally found himself seated beside his beloved. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheaf of love letters that he had written to her over the past months.
They were passionate letters, expressing the pain he felt and his burning desire to experience the delights of love and union. He began to read them to his beloved. The hours passed by but still he read on and on.

Finally the woman said, "What kind of a fool are you? These letters are all about me and your longing for me. Well, here I am sitting with you at last and you are lost in your stupid letters."

"Here I am with you," says God, "and you keep reflecting about me in the head, talking about me with your tongue, and searching for me in you books. When will you shut up and see?"

The Salt Doll

A salt doll journeyed for thousands of miles over land, until it finally came to the sea.

It was fascinated by this strange moving mass, quite unlike anything it had ever seen before.

"Who are you?" said the salt doll to the sea.

The sea smilingly replied, "Come in and see."

So the doll waded in. The farther it walked into the sea the more it dissolved, until there was only very little of it left. Before that last bit dissolved, the doll exclaimed in wonder, "Now I know what I am!"

The Duckling

The Sufi saint Shams of Tabriz tells the following story about himself:

I have been considered a misfit since my childhood. No one seemed to understand me. My own father once said to me, "You are not mad enough to be put in a madhouse, and not withdrawn enough to be put in a monastery. I don't know what to do with you."

I replied, "A duck's egg was once put under a hen. When the egg hatched the duckling walked about with the mother hen until they came to a pond. The duckling went straight into the water. The hen stayed clucking anxiously on land. Now, dear father, I have walked into the ocean and find in it my home. You can hardly blame me if you choose to stay on the shore."

The Golden Eagle

A man found an eagle's egg and put it in the nest of a backyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

All his life the eagle did what the backyard chickens did, thinking he was a backyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.

The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked.

"That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbor. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth - we're chickens."

So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he thought he was.