Awareness (18)

A famous Viennese surgeon told his students that a surgeon needed two gifts: freedom form nausea and the power of observation.

He then dipped a finger into some nauseating fluid and licked it, requesting each of the students to do the same. They steeled themselves to it and managed it without flinching.

With a smile, the surgeon then said, "Gentlemen, I congratulate you on having passed the first test. But not, unfortunately, the second, for not one of you noticed that the finger I licked was not the one I dipped into the fluid."

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (17)

A drunkard was walking down a street with blisters in both of his ears. A friend asked him what had happened to cause the blisters.

"My wife left her hot iron on, and when the phone rang I picked up the iron by mistake."

"Yes, but what about the other ear?"

"The damned fool called back!"

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (16)

When the devil saw a seeker enter the house of a Master, he determined to do everything in his power to turn him back from his quest for Truth.

So he subjected the poor man to every possible temptation: wealth, lust, fame, power, prestige. But the seeker was far too experienced in spiritual matters and was able to fight off the temptations quite easily, so great was his longing for spirituality.

When he got into the Master's presence, he was somewhat taken aback to see the Master sitting on an upholstered chair and the disciples at his feet. "This man certainly lacks humility, the principal virtue of the saints," he thought to himself.

He then observed other things about the Master that he did not like: for one thing, the Master took little notice of him. "I suppose that is because I do not fawn as the others do," he said to himself. Also, he disliked the kind of clothes the Master wore and the somewhat conceited way he spoke. All of this led him to the conclusion that he had come to the wrong place and must continue his quest elsewhere.

As he walked out of the room, the Master, who had seen the devil seated in the corner of the room, said, "You need not have worried, Tempter. He was yours from the very first, you know."


Such is the fate of those who, in their search for God, are willing to shed everything except their notions of what God really is.
People would never sin if they were aware that each time they sin it is themselves they are damaging. Most people are in too much of a torpor, alas, to have the slightest awareness of what they are doing to themselves.

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (15)

Grandpa and Grandma had quarreled and Grandma was so angry she would not speak to her husband.

The following day Grandpa had forgotten all about the quarrel, but Grandma continued to ignore him and still wouldn't speak. Nothing Grandpa did seemed to succeed in pulling her out of her sullen silence.

Finally he started rummaging in cupboards and drawers. After this had gone on for a few minutes, Grandma could stand it no longer. "What on earth are you looking for?" she demanded angrily.

"Praise be to God, I've found it," said Grandpa with a sly smile. "Your voice!"


If it is God you are looking for, look somewhere else.

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (14)

"That's a clever dog you have there," said a man when he saw his friend playing cards with his dog.

"Not as clever as he looks" was the reply. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (13)

A man took his new hunting dog out on a trial hunt. Presently he shot a duck that fell into the lake. The dog walked over the water, picked up the duck, and brought it to his master.

The man was flabbergasted! He shot another duck. Once again, while he rubbed his eyes in disbelief, the dog walked over the water and retrieved the duck.

Hardly daring to believe that he had seen, he called his neighbor for a shoot the following day. Once again, each time he or his neighbor hit a bird, the dog would walk over the water and bring the bird in; The man said nothing. Neither did his neighbor. Finally, unable to contain himself any longer, he blurted out, "Did you notice anything strange about that dog?"

The neighbor rubbed his chin pensively. "Yes," he finally said. "Come to think of it, I did! The son of a gun can't swim!"

It isn't as if life is not full of miracles. It's more than that: it is miraculous, and anyone who stops taking it for granted will see it at once.

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (12)

A woman at a bank asked the cashier to cash a check for her. Citing company policy, the cashier asked for her identification.

The woman gasped. Finally she managed to say, "But Jonathan, I'm your mother!"

If you think this is funny, how come you yourself fail to recognize the Messiah?

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (11)

An oyster saw a loose pearl that had fallen into the crevice of a rock on the ocean bed. After great effort she managed to retrieve the pearl and place it just beside her on a leaf.

She knew that humans searched for pearls and thought, "This pearl will tempt them, so they will take it and let me be."

When a pearl diver showed up, however, his eyes were conditioned to look for oysters and not for pearls resting on leaves.

So he grabbed the oyster, which did not happen to have a pearl, and allowed the real pearl to roll back into the crevice in the rock.


You know exactly where to look. That is the reason why you fail to find God.

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (10)

A cowboy was riding across the desert when he came upon an Indian lying on the road with his head and ear to the ground.

"How ya doin', chief?" said the cowboy.

"Big paleface with red hair driving dark green Mercedes-Benz with German shepherd dog inside and license plate number DST965 going west."

"Gee, chief, ya mean ya hear all that just listening to the ground?"

"I'm not listening to the ground. The SOB ran over me."

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (9)

A man got into a bus and found himself sitting next to a youngster who was obviously a hippie. He was wearing only one shoe.

"You've evidently lost a shoe, son."

"No, man" came the reply. "I found one."

It is evident to me; that does not mean it is true

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (8)

A woman in the grocery department of a supermarket bent down to pick up some tomatoes. At that moment she felt a sharp pain shooting down her back; she became immobilized and let out a shriek.

A shopper standing next to her leaned over knowingly and said, "If you think tomatoes are bad, you should see the price of the fish!"

Is it Reality you are responding to or your assumptions about it?

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (7)

Reality, mostly, is not what it is but what we have decided it is:

A little old Jewish lady sits down in a plane next to a a big Swede and keeps staring at him. Finally she turns to him and says, "Pardon me, are you Jewish?"

He says, "No."

A few minutes later she turns to him again and says, "You can tell me, you know - you are Jewish, aren't you?"

He says, "Most certainly not."

She keeps studying him for some minutes, then says again," "I can tell you are Jewish."

In order to get rid of the annoyance, the mans says, "Okay, so I'm Jewish!"

She looks at him again, shakes her head, and says, "You certainly don't look it."


We first make our conclusions - then find some way to arrive at them

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (6)

Many, many years ago, back in the Middle Ages, the Pope was urged by his advisers to banish the Jews from Rome. It was unseemly, they said, that these people should be living unmolested in the very center of Catholicism. An edict of eviction was drawn up and promulgated, much to the dismay of the Jews, who knew that wherever else they went they could only expect worse treatment than was meted out to them in Rome. So they pleaded with the Pope to reconsider the edict. The Pope, a fair-minded man, offered them a sporting proposition: Let the Jews appoint someone to debate with him in pantomime. If their spokesman won, the Jews might stay.

The Jews met to consider this proposal. To turn it down was to be evicted form Rome. To accept it was to court certain defeat, for who could win a debate in which the Pope was both participant and judge? Still, there was nothing for it but to accept. Only it was impossible to find someone to volunteer for the task of debating with the Pope. The burden of having the fate of the Jews on his shoulders was more than any one man could bear.

When the synagogue janitor heard what was going on, he came before the Chief Rabbi and volunteered to represent his people in the debate. "The janitor?" said the other rabbis when they heard of this. "Impossible!"

"Well, said the Chief Rabbi, "none of us is willing. It is either the janitor or no debate." Thus, for lack of anyone else the janitor was appointed to debate with the Pope.

When the great day arrived, the Pope sat on a throne in St. Peter's Square, surrounded by his cardinals, facing a large crowd of bishops, priests, and faithful. Presently the little Jewish delegation arrived in their black robes and flowing beards, with the janitor in their midst.

The Pope turned to face the janitor and the debate began. The Pope solemnly raised one finger and traced it across the heavens. The janitor promptly pointed with emphasis toward the ground. The Pope seemed somewhat taken aback. Even more solemnly, he raised one finger again and kept it firmly before the janitor's face. The janitor thereupon lifted three fingers and held them just as firmly before the Pope, who seemed astonished by the gesture. Then the Pope thrust his hand into his robes and pulled out an apple. Whereupon the janitor thrust his hand into his paper bag and pulled out a flat piece of matzo. At this the Pope exclaimed in a loud voice,
"The Jewish representative has won the debate. The edict of eviction is hereby revoked."

The Jewish leaders promptly surrounded the janitor and led him away. The cardinals clustered around the Pope in astonishment. "What happened, Your Holiness?" they asked. "It was impossible for us to follow the rapid thrust and parry of the debate."

The Pope wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "That man is a brilliant theologian, a master in debate. I began by sweeping my hand across the sky to indicate that the whole universe belongs to God. He thrust his finger downward to remind me that there is a place called Hell where the devil reigns supreme. I then raised one finger to signify that God is one. Imagine my shock when he raised three fingers to indicate that this one God manifests Himself equally in three persons, thereby subscribing to our own doctrine of the Trinity! Knowing that it was impossible to get the better of this theological genius, I finally shifted the debate to another area.
I pulled out an apple to indicate that according to some new-fangled ideas the earth is round. He instantly produced a flat piece of unleavened bread to remind me that, according to the Bible, the earth is flat. So there was nothing to do but concede the victory to him."

By now the Jews had arrived at their synagogue. "What happened?" they asked the janitor in bewilderment.

The janitor was indignant. "It was all a lot of rubbish," he said. "Look. First the Pope moves his hand like he is telling all the Jews to get out of Rome. So I pointed downward to make it clear to him that we were not going to budge. So he points a finger to me threateningly as if to say, 'Don't get fresh with me.' So I point three fingers to tell him he was thrice as fresh with us when he arbitrarily ordered us out of Rome. The next thing, I see him taking out his lunch. So I took out mine."

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (5)

In the summer of 1946 the rumor of a famine swept through a province in a South American country. Actually the crops were growing well , and the weather was perfect for a bumper harvest. But on the strength of that rumor, twenty thousand small farmers abandoned their farms and fled to the cities. Because of their action the crops failed, thousands starved, and the rumor about the famine proved true.

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (4)

A married couple was returning from the funeral of Uncle George, who had lived with them for twenty years and had been such a nuisance that he almost succeeded in wrecking their marriage.

"There is something I have to say to you, dear," said the man. "If it hadn't been for my love for you, I wouldn't have put up with your Uncle George for a single day."

"My Uncle George!" she exclaimed in horror. "I thought he was your Uncle George!"


Anthony de Mello

Awareness (3)

Assumptions:

A couple of hunters chartered a plane to fly them into forest territory. Two weeks later the pilot came to take them back. He took a look at the animals they had shot and said, " This plane won't take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the other behind."

"But last year the pilot let us take two in a plane this size," the hunters protested.

The pilot was doubtful, but finally he said, "Well, if you did it last year I guess we can do it again."

So the plane took off with the three men and two buffaloes. But it couldn't gain height and crashed into a neighboring hill. The men climbed out and looked around. One hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are?" The other inspected the surroundings and said, "I think we're about two miles to the left of where we crashed last year."

Anthony de Mello

Awareness (2)

Three wise men set out on a journey, for even though they were considered wise in their own country, they were humble enough to hope that travel would broaden their minds .

They had barely crossed into a neighboring country when they saw a skyscraper in the distance. What could this enormous object be? they asked themselves. The obvious procedure would have been to go up and find out. But no - that might be too dangerous. Suppose it was something that exploded as one approached? It was altogether wiser to decide what it was before finding out. Various theories were put forward, examined and on the basis of their past experiences, rejected. Finally, it was determined, also on the basis of past experience, of which they had an abundant supply, that the object in question, whatever it was, could only have been placed there by giants.

This led them to the conclusion that it would be safer to avoid this country altogether. So they went back home, having added something to their fund of experience.


Assumptions affect Observation. Observation breeds Conviction. Conviction produces Experience. Experience generates Behavior, which, in turn, confirms Assumptions.

Anthony de Mello